The Secret Formula to a Successful Family

Over the past few years, I have slowly been gathering information about kids and families and their dynamics.  After awhile you begin to see patterns and this then becomes common sense.  Personal experience of my failures (I wish I had known) and successes (I’ve tried it myself) which  confirms my findings. I have worked with so many parents and found that these areas are places to start working on a happier family:

1.       Your spouse takes precedence over your children.  – Ok. Stop reading in disbelief; I speak the truth.  A strong marriage produces by default, a strong family.  All your children really want from you, not the latest XBOX or to be kept busy with sports 24/7, is to have the confidence to know that they are on solid ground. A firm foundation. If your marriage is the foundation of your family you better be sure it’s invincible.  In this environment, children thrive and have more confidence to go out on their own and be successful.  They in turn will mimic this and create firm relationships and lives themselves.Date night. Don’t laugh. Yes, date night is a must.  As busy as we all are we have to stop and take time for our spouses.  Even just a dinner and a movie will give you a chance to talk and relate to each other again.  After 13 years, we are still in the habit of our once a month date night.  Its amazing how much I have find out that has been going on with my husband that is usually small things we have no time otherwise to discuss.  Now onto a little family dynamics…..

2.       Be the mentor – I can’t stress enough the fact that children are watching what parents do more than they are listening to what they say.  You will be copied. Teenagers get blamed a lot for peer pressure influences.  Parents are proven to be the #1 influence above a child’s friends. No matter what age they are pioneering, they will continually be looking to you as a reference. Think about how babies learn. Its mostly all by imitation; everything from phonics to movement.  This does not stop as they age.  If you really start to contemplate this, you will see that it may not be just genetics that makes the apple fall close to the tree.

3.       Be accountable -   Responsibility is the most misaddressed area of the family dynamic today more than ever.  Children as young as 3 and 4 can start becoming responsible.  This is invaluable as they begin to grow into young adults.  A four year old can take off his shoes at the door and place them in a designated area.  This is teachable.  At a young age they so want to please you and be given praise that it’s a great place to start.  Being responsible breeds self-esteem.  We have so many young people out there feeling bad about themselves.  So insufficient and unworthy, I would call it the next epidemic.  Starting a regimen of responsibilities gives everyone a source of value and purpose thus ending in good self-esteem and in turn a happier family.

4.       You’re the parents – The team does not consist of children vs. mom vs. dad.  Parents need to plan how they are going to handle situations that come up in advance.  This is even more important with stepchildren and the roles step parents play.  Get your huddle on and have private meetings (maybe date night?) to talk about acceptable ways to approach problems and issues the kids will throw at you.  A teens favorite ammunition, and so easily played, is divide and conquer.  If you can pitch mom against dad, then the teen is no longer the issue. Bam, slam dunk and a win.

5.       Have fun – This should have been #2 if the list was in order.  The healthiest thing you can do for a family is have fun together.  Most of the time it’s free. This is not always easy and you may have to require attendance, but once it starts, everyone will have memories and references to last a lifetime.  In our house it’s been everything from chess tournaments and board games to walking in the woods to meteor hunting.  My heart is so happy when I see family pictures on facebook of days at the park or visiting with relatives.

6.       Pray together – I learned just the other day that 1 in 50,000 couples that pray together end in divorce. Those are awesome odds and truly worth saving a family for.   My family has been praying together for 13 years and its exactly what we need at the end of the day to remind us how grateful and thankful we are regardless of all that conspired during the day.

There concludes my top six.  This is my own personal observation and I find it to be pretty spot on.  

The Blue Ribbon of Child Abuse

April is child abuse awareness and prevention month.   This month here in my county, we will be having the Blue Ribbon Ceremony where we release the balloons of every child who has fallen victim to child abuse last year. This is an event we plan that ivolves all of the counties organizations. All will attend and we extend to our public how they can see and report suspected child abuse.  This cause is very near to my heart and I just wish that there would come a day when there would be no need for this event.  All children are a gift. A precious gift God has given us to care for and train up to be wonderful, loving adults. Please take some time to read the story about the Blue Ribbon and then go hug a child and swear you will protect them forever.

Bonnie Finney's story
It had been so long since I sat by my grandson's side in the hospital. Of course, I knew
something was wrong as I sat there, I saw fear on his face, the bruises on his body, and the
healing cigarette burns on his hands. His doctor did not believe my daughter's story… "he
fell in slippery water in the bathtub."

After the ordeal at the hospital my grandson was placed into foster care for three weeks. He
cried when they came to take him back to his mother. I ached for his dilemma, but I was not
physically able to care for him. I never saw him again.

"My 16-month old granddaughter was hospitalized after being beaten severely. Her leg was
broken in four places and her hand was burned from the tip of her little fingers to her wrist.
It was only then that the search was on for my grandson. We learned that he had been
killed, wrapped in a sheet, stuffed in a toolbox, and dumped into the dismal swamp three
months earlier.

My grandchildren had suffered and battled so much throughout their young lives that it
sickened me. My life was turned into physical and mental chaos. My efforts to understand
became a plea to stop abusing children. I tied a Blue Ribbon on my van antenna to make
people wonder. Why blue? I intend never to forget the battered, bruised bodies of my
grandchildren. Blue serves as a constant reminder to me to fight for protection for our
children.

The Green Thing

So I am carousing through the grocery store and I stumble upon that green coated fry pan that was recently an "As seen on TV" item.  I stared at it for a while and started thinking about the last 13 years of my life.  No, really.  Cast Iron pans for 13 years. UG!  The mess, the heaviness, and the scratches to my glass top stove.  Not one day spent in the presence of Teflon   Oh how I have missed anything non-stick!  I decided that since I was a grown woman subject to make rational decisions, I was going to indulge in purchasing this skillet. For experimental purposes of course.

I brought it home.  Its not Teflon, its environmentally friendly, ceramic coated.  I had to fry some sausage last night and decided to test out the new pan. All I can say is it worked liked a charm, fried my food, no fuss, no mess, light as a feather to lift and I wasn't exposed to any dangerous evil toxins!  It was extremely slick though so you have to watch it or your stuff will end up on the floor.  As long as the 5 second rule applies, you'll be ok. For the first time ever in the history of forever of buying something marketed on TV, I give it an A.

So its called the Orgreenic Ceramic Green non-stick Fry Pan. Go get you one.

Brushing Up on Some Slang

 I ran across this information cleaning out my computer. A dreaded job but I had a couple 500 minutes to kill.  I had put together a list of teen slang for some parents as a fun activity.  I chuckles every time I see it. One reason is because I remember all the slang/code words we used to use.  They are quite different these days.  I do warn parents not to let on that we know these words nor use them at any time.  Usually the minute they know we know, they'll change them like a super spy on a covert mission of mass secrecy!  Enjoy:

FLOP:
A flop is when a planned event doesn't end up happening. A flopper is someone who often cancels last minute.

PHOTOBOMB:
A photobomb is when a person or object is in a picture accidentally or intentionally and as a result, ruins the photo.

FAIL:
A fail is a fail in life. It can be anything from falling off your bike, walking into a glass door or overcooking your holiday dinner. Fails can also happen online if you write on someone's Facebook wall by accident, for example.

EPIC FAIL:
Now if a fail is a fail in life, then an epic fail is a fail of giant proportions. An epic fail can also refer to a task that is meant to be easy, but still wasn't carried out properly.

LIPDUB:
A lipdub may not be as common among all teens, but a lot of libdubs have been popping up on the Internet. For example in this one,students at the University of British Columbia sing their way through campus with Pink's "Raise Your Glass." Essentially, a lipdub is a music video done in one take with a variety of people singing along.

NOOB:
A noob refers to someone who doesn't have the basic knowledge when it comes to pop culture, tech terms or just generally what seems to be "in" that week. (And don't worry, after you read our guide, you will no longer be a noob when it comes to popular words among teens).

PWNED:
No, this is not a typo, pwned is spelled with a "p" and is pronounced 'owned.' History suggests it originated in an online game called "Warcraft," where a map designer misspelled "owned." (Just look how close "p" and "o" are on your keyboard). When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, "has been owned." Being owned means someone just proved you wrong, but it could also be positive. If you did well on a test, guess what? You pwned that test.

POS:
Now kids aren't going around saying "POS" out loud -- nor would they say LOL (laugh out loud), WTF (what the f--k), BRB (be right back) or SMH (shaking my head) --but this one is just for texting and chatting. If you ever happen to look over your son or daughter's shoulder while they are on instant message sites or Facebook and you see "POS," it refers to: parents over shoulder.

SICK:
Sick doesn't refer to being ill or literally sick. It usually refers to something that was awesome, cool or surprising.

HATER:
A hater is usually someone who feels anger or jealously towards another person because of their success. However, when most teens use it, they just assume they other person is ruining their life on purpose. 

·                    Greycation - Having your grandparents join your vacation.

Bro-tox - Men getting botox

Iceman - A friend with nerves of steel

Tarhead - Someone who is involved in oil-based recreation such as car racing.

Affluential - Having both money and power or influence

Flamed - To have taken everything too seriously

Awesomity - The highest state of awesome

Ollie - A skateboard trick where the rider and board leap into the air

Planking - Laying your body on top of an object and balancing there while stretched out and stiffened.

Tight - Means close in relationship.

Tool - Refers to someone who is stupid or a geek.

Wanksta - Refers to a person trying to act tough, but isn't really pulling it off.

Chillaxin - cross between chillin' and relaxing.

Crashy - Crazy and trashy. Not considered to be good.

Crunk - cross between crazy and drunk. Some teens use this term to mean cool.

Requestion - cross between a request and a question.

Tope - cross between tight and dope.

Reflections, Resolutions and Ramblings

 Every year about this time I spend WAY too much time reflecting on the previous year. I do it consistently the days before New Years trying to decide what my resolutions might be. This should be a tradition I need to avoid, nevertheless, as I look back on the year I tend to focus only on the negative things I might want to try rid myself of the next year. All the times I failed to be there for a friend, or the times I lacked in guiding my child, or the times I got frustrated and wanted to just throw in the towel. This is really not how I want to spend the last days of a truly for the most part wonderful year.

Grace and Mercy. This is the concept (resolution) I’ll focus on next year. Cut a person some slack. We all fall short miserably of the standards we set for ourselves and especially the ones we set for others. I think people spend too much time beating themselves up for not being perfect. This is a terrible dilemma running rampant. A few ideas running through my mind:

 On being a mom- I’m not the best mom in the world nor am I the worst. I am who I am and love tremendously. I would die for each and every one of them without a thought.

 On being a friend- I’m not the best friend you could ever have nor could I (hopefully not) be the worst. I try hard to be the friend you need and want every day. I love all my friends tremendously and would die for each and every one of them without a thought.

On being a wife- I do the best I can with all I have. Excluding my female neurosis and crazy days, I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you. I love with every inch of the heart God gave me and would die for you in an instant.

Grace and mercy allows us to be who we are and love regardless. I imagine how Jesus felt as he was lead to the cross. We were terrible friends and so imperfect and trying. Yet, his love was so deep for us he was willing to die anyway. We don’t have to be perfect (because we will never get there) or try to have others see us as perfect. We just have to be ourselves and accept others for who they are.

Let Them Eat Cake!

Today I have a “ME” day. This is the day that I am all alone at home and can do whatever I want. This may not sound like a big deal to some, but to me, its like a slice of heaven for 4 or 5 hours. After about an hour of doing the typical cleaning and washing, I decided that that wasn’t what I wanted to do so I decided I would bake something. I haven’t baked anything in forever so I chose a cinnamon cake. Yes, it’s out of a box but I still have to add ingredients so that counts. I mixed the egg, water and oil to the batter. Separated the little bread crumbs and did everything it said on the box. As I was ready to pour it all in the pan, my index finger reached down and scooped up a nice taste of the sugary batter smelling deliciousness. I didn’t have that anticipated taste halfway to my mouth when the skies opened up and a huge voice came out of nowhere and exclaimed NO!!! Don’t do it! There’s E-coli salmonella bacteria and lethal matter in that batter! I responded promptly with “You gotta be kidding me. This is my day and if I want to lick the whole bowl, I’m going to do it.” Well, my conscience got the better of me so I didn’t. How did we get here? How did we get to the point where a person can’t even lick a spoon without fear of imminent death? I remember a time ( I don’t know if my mom knows this or not) when we, my brothers and I, used to come home from school we would get out the recipe card for chocolate cake and prepare the batter. It never made it to the oven. We didn’t want cake. We wanted the batter. Eaten right out of the bowl…raw eggs and all. How we survived to adulthood, I have no idea. I feel really sad right now that today’s kids will never be able to experience the extreme joy of sitting patiently in the kitchen while mom is preparing a yummy cake or cookies and then waiting for your turn to lick the spoon, the beaters, and the bowl. In 37 minutes my cake will be done. I’ll probably eat half of it before my husband and son return from fishing. It wasn’t the same working so hard and not licking the spoon.

My Love Affair with Science Fairs

Ode to the Science Fair

The biggest challenge I face in interacting between my son and the school system is the science fair. I think there should be stricter rules and regulations regarding participating in such events as listed below.

1. The parents are required to be less neurotic than the child. If you have a child that is extremely easy going, lives for today and never worries about what tomorrow brings and then you have parents that come unglued over deadlines and changes in procedures that tend to throw them into a tailspin, it’s not a recipe for success.

2. This should be optional. A child with absolutely no interest in doing science experiments nor care what the outcome is, has no business putting his parents through this stressful activity. More than seeing experiments as the science fair, People love to see the kids enthusiasm over what he have accomplished or figured out. Like they had some major revelation.

3. The parents should actually know what all the materials are. When the experiment calls for “Non-Galvanized Nails” in the year 2012, the parents should realize that this is hard to find since all nails are galvanized to some degree and finding the requirements is going to take more research than a 5 minute trip to Lowes. It is also important for the parents to know that they actually have the wrong materials sooner than 28 hours into an experiment that is due in 3 days.

4. The child should not be prone to beg for an F instead of doing science. This just leaves the parents to spend hours upon days convincing the child that failure is not an option and no one is sleeping the night before its due.

After weeks of working on this science project and also having to start all over with a new idea one week before it was due, I feel we have pulled it off. I’m going for D or better and everyone gets ice cream. Please do not tell me this is a yearly thing. If so, I’m going to make him start today on next year’s project.

All and all, the science fair went off without a hitch and I actually learned some really cool stuff from some creative 6-8th graders. My personal blue ribbons go to child #4b who proved that Wal-Mart brand nail polish lasts longer and chips less than your expensive brands and child 3a who proved that chickens lay more eggs when listening to classical music than they do with country music or no music. Both these I will definitely try at home. Stay tuned and I’ll post some pictures.

Virtual Walls

Today my thoughts were about my robot. I have an irobot that vacuums for me. It has patterns and sensors that keep it moving to completely cover the room eventually. I can set a timer to run when I’m not here. It has a voice that states its needs like when its in a pickle it says, “Please move Roomba to a new location.” Or “Please charge Roomba.” It comes with lighthouses and virtual walls so you can let it know where to go next with the lighthouse or not let it in certain areas that you don’t want it to go. One cool thing is the docking station so when it senses that its battery is low, it docks itself and recharges. Its equipped with everything it needs to do the job it was made to do.

Why am I telling you all about my robot? I’m not selling them or anything but one day a friend of mine also bought one of these robots and she asked me, “Do let it run while you’re not home?” I said no because I’m never sure where it will be when I get back and I end up calling for it like some kind of crazy woman…”Here robot, where are you?”

As a person who ponders numerous conversations for days, I started thinking about the robot and the question posed to me by my friend. I also think about kids and teenagers a lot. Then a huge lightning bolt seared across the sky, lights started flickering and I had an AHA! moment. iRobot is like cildren. I am in such a rush most days, I usually don’t take the time to set up the virtual walls or the timers so it just works randomly throughout my house. It takes twice as much time to clean than if it the equipment was used properly. All the information I need is there, I just have to stop and listen to it or maybe read a manual or two. I don’t really set the timer because I just use it when its convenient for me and my schedule. I have never used the lighthouses really because sometimes I’m not even sure where I think it should go next. Imagine what would happen if our children had no virtual walls, no boundaries, no idea what was coming next or where they should go next. Imagine if we didn’t really take the time to read a manual or search out answers that would help our kids run more efficiently. They come equipped with everything they need to be successful and its our job to keep the batteries charged and the direction clear.

Technology Update

Dear Husband and Son,

You may not have recognized this item but I would like to take the time to fill you in. In order to clear up any miscommunication, I will now attempt to answer all your questions about this. The wicker square thing in the corner of each room is called a laundry basket. I understand your not recognizing it since it does not have tires, engine nor propels on the water. It has been used for centuries as a place to put clothes that have been worn and are in need of laundering. Hence the name “LAUNDRY basket”. What this strange item cannot not do is be magnetized to spontaneously attract your used clothing. It cannot sense unclean articles and retrieve them. There is no remote so it does not have to be turned on, unlocked or turned off. It just sits there. It cannot pick up socks or anything else by itself that have been left on the floor next to it. It order for this device to work properly, you must actually feed it every day.

Recruit and Paint

So I called Danyele, my sister in law. She is always redecorating, moving something, updating, fixing, restoring, reorganizing…well, you get the picture. I went to her with my awesome idea and my terrible dilemma. “But I can’t paint” I said sadly with puppy dog eyes. She was more than happy to help and we planned a Saturday to do the paint job. Since we live so far away and its hard to get people together these days, I had a brilliant idea to make a day of it. Make a big dinner, have family over, paint, eat, play. Well, I wouldn’t say it was brilliant, more like addicted to chaos.
Danyele comes over with her supplies. She has on these cute shoes, nice pair of jeans, button down shirt and the cutest leather jacket. Hmm. Where’s the sweats? I guess she’ll change later. I, in my ripped jeans and baggy shirt, start helping to get the room ready. She opens the paint and gets right to it....in her cute outfit. So I waited, surely she’ll realize she forgot to change? Meanwhile, the family is here, kids are running everywhere wanting in that room that they are sure all the toys are in. I left the paint job to Danyele as I prepared dinner and tended to the guests. Not to mention the fact that I am not allowed anywhere near paint. When the day was finally over, the room was painted, not a drop anywhere, not even on Danyele’s shoes, dinner was good, the company was great and all in all a successful day. Thank you for your help. The painting was perfect and better than the people I originally paid to paint the orange.

Next...We Paint...Maybe

Getting excited about seeing the orange disappear, I asked my son what color he thought his Antique Car room should be. Since he was going to be a teenager in a couple of years, I knew it had to be a pretty mature looking room. He said black. Compromise lesson #1: If one persons idea is crazy enough to make you pass out,don't just say 'No Way!' I thought I would appeal to his love of cars and say, "How about we paint the base color gray and have black and red pin striping just like this car here on the cover of your Hot rod magazine?" Bingo. He thought that would be perfect.

I announced to my husband about our plans for painting and the ideas we had for the room. I was starting to get excited and couldn't wait to get to Lowes and get started. The only small glitch was his response. In the nicest, warmest way possible he said to me, "If you touch another wall with a paintbrush, I'm moving out." Ouch! Although I did still have fresh memories of my attempt to repaint a small bathroom in our house. I am reminded of it every time turn on my blue tinted light fixtures or clean the blue spotted commode or pull down the shades over the blue accented window frames. Not even to mention the brush strokes that are wearing off the walls.

Now I have a small dilemma. Hmmm. I can't really paint(walls) and I don't have a design team. I have already cleaned out the room and am set on doing this project. I need a team. I need professionals. I have got to get some input from someone that loves this stuff and can coach me on this. I just now realized that some planning is going to have to be involved and that's something I lack. I just had the best idea. I'm going to call......

A Decorating Excursion

Ever since my son was very little, he has had an obsession with the color orange. I don't think it had anything to do with us hanging UT flags, banners, hats, memorabilia all over his room since birth. Or maybe it does. When we built a house we let the kids decide their room color and agreed to paint whatever they wanted. Well, as it happens, my son picked orange and it was done. Its been 5 years of the orange bedroom and I think I'm pretty oranged out. I finally talked him into redoing his room with the promise of antique classic car theme. This picture is the before picture and I'll update it as progress goes on.

I did realize that redoing a bedroom is NOTHING like you see on TV. There is so much involved especially for someone with absolutely no sense of design. So here it is, before.

Staying in AWE

There are so many things we lose as we age. Our hair turns grey, wrinkles appear, joints don’t move as well as they did and we seem to just be all around slower. I am pretty much ok with all that. I call it my successes. The only thing that I want to be careful not to lose is my awe. I have to practice it every day. Sometimes a vigorous workout is required. I would suggest 20 to 30 minutes a day, at least three times a week.

I remember when we rented a little house at the bottom of Brady Mountain. The location was just at the end of a few downhill hairpin type turns. This was a major route for tractor trailers to travel from the north to Chattanooga. As the trucks would make their way down the mountain, you could hear the screeching of wheels or the roughness of the engine as they downshifted to maneuver the road. Each time a tractor trailer would make its way down the winding road, the engines would scream and my then 3 year old son would stop everything he was doing and run to the middle of the driveway to be in awe of this huge mechanical giant on wheels. He did this every time. For hours regularly I would watch him race to get just one fleeting glance. He never tired of it. Each time he saw these trucks was like the first time he ever saw one. That is awe. He marveled at the size, the speed, the colors, the sounds they made.

Every morning I wake up early just to run outside to watch the sun rise. I marvel at the color, the cloud formation, the reflection, the speed in all its gracefulness. When I am lucky enough to be still at sunset, I wait and be in awe of that too. The sky is something that has always amazed me. Its where quiet comes from.
As I grow older, my body may fail me, my youth will leave me, but I hope I never lose the awe of looking up. My Challenge, find something today that amazes you.

My Own Worst Enemy

I kill me. I really do. I am my worst nightmare. I Caught myself today. I opened the Yahoo homepage to see one of those "news" (haha) stories about some hollywood couple doing whatever. I thought to myself, "Really people? Is this what is occupying our time? Is this really news?" So then guess what I did. Yep. I clicked on the link to see what the story was about. Snap.

A Farm Thing

Today is the day I finally realized how truly blessed I am. Sometimes those things you think you have to endure really end up being an wonderful slice of luxury. You think all this time I have suffered when in truth I have been given a great gift. For 13 years I have not bought meat from the grocery store. Every year we “do in” a cow that feeds us for that year. The first year I was mortified. It wasn’t nice and pink like the store and it was vacuum packed and looked extremely odd. Not to mention watching these guys graze all year and then they are in my freezer. As with any cards we’re dealt, I began to adjust pretty well to a point that it just become normal and I didn’t even think about it anymore…..until today….
The weather was pretty nasty out. With the freezing cold and the snow flying I really didn’t feel like walking out to the freezer and defrosting meat. In my genius thought, I had to go to the store anyway, I might as well save some time and pick up some hamburger for meatballs there. I took the hamburger out of the package and noticed right away the strange color, almost pink. I smelled it. It actually didn’t smell like anything, no smell at all. Oh well, continue…I place it in the bowl and it’s a little slimy. Eww. I start cooking and there is grease everywhere. Now that’s gross.
It was then that I realized how much better the grass fed, home grown cow really was. Beef smells like beef. No grease to fool with and the taste is so good, you hardly have to spice it. Yep, I have been spoiled in my pioneer way of life and life is good.

Occupy Walmart

I have absolutely no idea why this Occupy Wall Street nonsense gets on my nerves. It really does but I think its a test. A test of my "no useless controversy" policy. I try really hard to not knock any idea someone has to do something great and useful with their life no matter how far fetched I think it is. Well, OWS, a test of my emotional endurance. I have a zipper on my lip.

So in order not to explode being quiet, I have to just voice my opinion on a great marketing campaign. Occupy Walmart. This should be the black Friday slogan of all time. "Thousands turn out to Occupy Walmart". The only problem is they would never use it in the era that is 2011 because it might offend someone...oh...did I just say that out loud? Stupid zipper.

Lessons School Can't Teach

I couldn’t be more proud of my 11 year old son than I was this morning. No, report cards didn’t come out , I didn’t receive any papers with 100’s on them, nor did any trophy of special importance come home in his backpack. It was his courage.
A few days ago we randomly talked about forgiveness. Not only forgiving people but making it right after you forgive. I think its so important that if you are going to forgive people, you need to try to make things right between you. We also talked about when you do things that wrong or hurt others we need to apologize as soon as we realize what we’ve done and go and make it right.
This morning after I picked up some other riders and drove toward the school, my son, out of nowhere, says to another boy in the car, “A while ago I was mean to you. It wasn’t like me and I don’t know why I was, I just was. I am really sorry if I was. Do you forgive me?”
I can’t image how much courage it took him to say that because he is not very good with words or saying how he feels to anyone. I am just so thankful that he understands the things I try to teach him and know that he will be ok in this big crazy world. That, as a parent, is worth more to me than any report card or trophy.

In my search for all things old, cool and interesting, I ran across a school book at my in-laws house. The book published in 1914, The Volume Library, was used at the Grassy Cove Academy. The book was written with over 90 consultants as well as the President of the New York City College of Teachers in an agreement as to the direction to take our children. As I flip through the yellowed sensitive pages, I read exerts of the introduction teaching parents how to prepare a child for school and their responsibilities as a parent. The Kindergarten outline. The school book offers different types of obedience for parents to ensure successful learning at school.
Page 3 Paragraph5:
“About the worst method to secure obedience is unfortunately most commonly employed; to frighten the child by threats and punishments. The motive of fear is the most treacherous of all motives. It breeds cowardice, deception and hypocrisy. It destroys character and personality. It prevents development of confidence between child and parent, and will never teach a child the real reasons for right conduct.”
Wow. What a statement.

In all caps reads(speaking of the I Say, You Jump to please me approach to obedience): “THE PINCIPLE AIM OF EDUCATION MUST FOREVER BE TO GIVE THE CHILD THE POWER OF SELF CONTROL OF SELF MANAGEMENT AND THE SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY OF INDEPENDENT THOUGHT. This is the reason why obedience of the mechanical kind, as valuable as it is, has to be employed with great caution.”

I’m not sure exactly where I’m going with this except for the fact that I think maybe we ought to take a time out, find the successes of the past and implement them today for a better adjusted, well educated, happier experience studying for a good future.

Conversations

If you could have a face to face conversation with God, what would it sound like? For me, I think it would be just like this one:

About a Story

Its been a long time since I have posted my thoughts here. The summer was fun and amazing. I found myself every day writing a story in my mind about the day’s events. After awhile I determined that every sunrise to sunset I create a story with a beginning, a middle and an end. It has a climax and a purpose. Everyday I write. I live out my story until its time to create it in words. Like every good story it must be edited. I lie down to sleep and think of the day’s paragraphs and begin the process. ..”once upon a time in a land closer than you could possible imagine, there was this girl…………” Was what I said the right thing? Did I handle the situations in the best way I could? What was the best part? The worst part? And my favorite…what made me laugh so hard I cried!? My stories are usually about 5 brain pages before I would drift off to sleep and wait on the rooster crow to start a new one.

Just about Jesse

On June 4th, 2011 a dirt track race was held in Crossville, TN to spread Breast Cancer Awareness. The amazing thing about this race is that it was created and organized by 19 year old Jesse Lowe. Jesse has been racing since he was 14 and this year he had the idea to race for breast cancer. On his own he proceeded to create a car to get attention for breast cancer as well as put known breast cancer victims and survivors names on his car. He has a passion for doing great things for the good of the many. A lot of what he has done has come out of his own pocket and he believes he can make a difference in this world. I believe he can too. The race wasn’t widely marketing due to his limited funds but he still managed to offer a $1000 prize for the winner and raise $1300 for breast cancer research. Wow. This is a big deal and a big task for a recent high school graduate.
There are so many things our teens are doing these days to try to make a difference in the world and it goes unrecognized by the many. They get a bad rap when all we see on TV are school shootings and videos on You tube on fights and conflicts. I say this teen awareness is going in the wrong direction. Do you want to influence a teenager and celebrate the amazing things they are doing? Let’s let the world see firsthand what’s really going on. These kids are our future and by publically showing the things that they are doing, there is no telling where the domino effect of change and inspiration will come in.

I have a passion for these kids and am very proud of their accomplishments. I know many others in the area have been prompted by the acts of one to get involved.

Let's talk about Dad

In honor of Father’s day, I have something to say about your dad. Father’s Day is a tough one since my dad has been living it up with the angels for over two years. I remember the last father’s day card I bought. I was standing in front of the card selection and pulled out this card and read it. I laughed so hard out loud; other people turned and looked at me. I wasn’t embarrassed but proceeded to share this card with anyone standing there. I brought the card home but I never sent it. I can’t remember if dad was on vacation or out of town and I decided to wait. Then a month went by so decided to save it for next year. I still have the card. I thought maybe I would give it to my father-in-law but its just not the same. I can’t seem to part with it. It is a symbol of one of many missed opportunities. My dad wasn’t famous, wouldn’t get father of the year, and was no Ward Cleaver or Cliff Huxtable but he was the best dad I ever had, the one God gave me and the one I would pick again if I had an instant rewind.
Sometimes you might think you have issues with your dad but you know what, so does everybody else and in the long run when the day is over, he’s the one God gave you. He is the one that will love you unconditionally no matter what you do or what you may believe. No matter the type of person you think he is, the day will come when you realize that he was the best possible dad he knew how to be with the tools that he had. If I had a megaphone to heaven, I would tell my dad that the only thing that mattered was that I knew he loved me and that love will sustain me for the rest of my days.
If your blessed enough to still have him here, maybe you should tell him that on Father’s Day so you won’t feel like you'll need that megaphone later.

The Bigger Picture

A little boy and his family lived in a cottage on the beach. One day the father came home and brought the boy a salt water fish tank. He also was able to get fish eggs so they could hatch in the tank. Days went by and the boy watched the tank intently everyday for his fish to hatch. He sat there and watched and waited, he would imagine what they would look like and how he would feed them and watch them swim. The day finally came when the fish started hatching. The boy was so excited that he stayed at the tank as much as he could so he could watch each and every one.
The boys father sat with the boy one day and gently said to him, “There are way too many fish for this tank”. Teary eyed the boy was not about to spare any of them. He had spent so much time talking to them, watching them swim and play. After the father insisted that the tank was getting way too small and it eventually would compromise all the fish, the father told the boy of his plan and the boy agreed.
The fish were used to seeing the boy everyday and would swim to the glass to see him when he came in the room. This day was different. The little boy came to the tank today with a net. He scooped up a fish and carried it away. The fish in the tank were devastated and crushed by the loss of their friend.
The boy left the room. He carried the fish in the net, walked to the pier and dropped the fish into the ocean. The fish in all its glory, happily swam away. Everyday was the same. The boy came in the room with the net and took one fish. Each time the boy came in, the fish would swim frantically hoping that today was not there day. They were very afraid. But everyday continued and the boy’s routine was the same. Get a fish, walk to the pier, drop the fish in the ocean, smile and return home.
The fish in the tank became so distraught; one finally said to the boy, “why are you doing this? I thought you loved us? This is horrible. What have we done to make you so mad?” The boy said I am doing this because I love you. The fish did not understand and the boy tried to explain but knowing that the fish are unaware of anything but the tank, he had to put it in a way that they might comprehend. My father told me of a place that you will swim free for ever, be happy and never have to worry about when you will be fed next. The only way to get there is through me. If you trust me and know that I love you, I will walk with you there and you will be happy.

How does a domestic goddess stay off the couch?

I just read an article that people who sit most of the day increase their risk of heart attack by 54%. The article is mainly geared toward people who work in offices and it doesn’t count if you exercise when you leave work after sitting all day. I don’t have an office job or work out or anything but I do have a home routine of my own to help me stay moving. The tips in the article I read are good yet obvious ones for business people but if you stay at home like I do, you have to be more creative in making yourself not sit for long periods. I’ll share with you what I do to stay up and going despite the temptations.

1 Buy furniture for looks. They are usually the most uncomfortable and you won’t want to be there all day.

2. Leave yourself tons of “little stuff” on your to do list. Like a dish or two or all of them in the sink after dinner so you can get up in a little while when you feel like it and wash it.

3. Don’t be a neat freak. If your house is always clean and you have everything in order, you may be forced to sit around all day Saturday with nothing to do.

4. Leave your cell phone on the other side of the house. Its best if you leave it in a different place each time. When it rings you have to jump up, run across the house and actually find it to answer it. You will probably miss some calls but you’ll increase your movement when they keep calling back.

5. Make sure you have some laundry piled up. You want to be able to do 3 or 4 loads in a given day. If you time it right, you would get up about every 2 or 3 commercial breaks from your soaps to change over or fold laundry. This is excellent movement.

6. Be forgetful. This is one of my favorite “moving” workouts. There is nothing better than forgetting what you went to the kitchen for. You have to go back to where you were and start over. If you are lucky enough to be extremely forgetful, you could repeat this process many times. It helps also to lose your keys or your wallet randomly to get in a quick workout in before sitting in the car.

There are so many other creative ways to keep yourself moving when you’re at home, the kids are in school , and you’re faced with that risky dilemma of me time.

The secret job you don't know you have.

The world of kids needs a few good mentors. Oh, wait, you are a mentor and you probably don’t even know it. Some of the best mentors in the world are the family members who are not a parent or sibling, but the person that doesn’t mind hanging out with you and sharing some good fun together. You have no idea what a great impact this has on a child or teenager. An Aunt or Uncle can bring new perspectives, ideas and interests that really add to the quality of childhood. Like getting an A in math AND all the extra credit answers right.

When I was young (er), I had a favorite aunt. And I say “had” only because of the child perspective. She’s still my favorite. I thought she was the coolest person ever. She was very outgoing and I remember all the hiking and exploring we would do. She loved to travel and I anticipated hearing about her adventures overseas and working with children. I knew for sure that one day when I grew up, I would be just like her. It gave me a new way at looking at life than what was only in front of me. Well, I didn’t grow up just like her, she’s still traveling or on a hiking trail somewhere and I’m sitting in front of a computer screen but I know she’ll always be there and still one of my favorite “grown ups”.
When I grew older and had a child of my own, I was a devout Tomboy. I was anti-dresses, no heals, could care less about my nails and pretty sure I could do whatever my brothers could. I was thankful that my daughter had aunts in the family to show her the frilly pink stuff, the hair bows and play dress up. Her being able to spend that quality time with them created bonds that will last a lifetime.

In working with so many kids lately, I noticed a trend in the lack of someone to talk to. They just might not know that they do have people in their lives that love them like parents and care about everything they do. You could be that person and you need to look around and let them know that you’re there for them. Non judgmental, just to talk to or hang out with or a person they can vent to if they ever need someone. My nieces and nephews know that I have a revolving door that is constantly open. Spending time with them is so much fun and I always look forward to seeing them.

Hikng, Hope and a Mission of Love

Last Saturday kicked off the Hike for Hope at the Cumberland Mountain State Park. Even though the weather was a little under the weather, we had a great time and a lot of people came out to hike, eat, chat, listen to live music and get a glimpse of what is involved in hiking over 2100 miles.


John Wigington gave us some insight as to how life was on the trail for days at a time. The amount of gear to carry was amazing since this included sleeping, cooking, emergency items and even extra shoes. This is not an undertaking for the weak willed or casual walker!

Thank you to all who came out and braved the cold. The two mile hike at the park was actually very refreshing and even amidst the mist, was very enjoyable.


I was touched as well by a story that had developed out of someone hearing about John’s quest to walk for the House of Hope. After John had been on the radio talking about this AT adventure, I received a phone call from Alex Horony. Alex was also a retired service man and told me the story of his brother John who had passed away in 2007 of cancer. John was an avid hiker, outdoorsman, and carpenter. John had hiked in Europe and also had a drive to complete the Appalachian Trail even after his diagnosis of cancer. John (Horony) carried with him a hiking stick that would mark the miles of the trail as he hiked it. Most hikers are “section hikers” and complete the entire AT by doing it in sections throughout the years. John had completed most of the trail until he was too weak from cancer treatments to go any further. Alex called the House of Hope and asked if John Wigington would be willing carry John Horony’s walking stick the rest of the way to complete the AT in his honor. I really teared up watching John W. accept this walking stick to finish a dream for someone that couldn’t.

Alex Horony handing over the hiking stick to John Wigington




John Horony 1953 to 2007

WORDS HAVE POWER

How often we forget the power of the word. Words on paper are strong but the power lies in the tongue. What we speak becomes either a weapon of destruction or a tool of healing. I realize that in this country we have the freedom to express ourselves with writing and speaking and it is a right that I cherish. At the same time it is also a right that can be abused or used unthoughtfully to hurt or destroy.
We can easily remember things our forefathers said in speeches more than which bills they signed into law. We study the words of our mentors to give us guidance and memorize famous lines in movies that we use everyday. The power of the tongue.
We have got to be more responsible with how we use this power that we have. Like a superhero, he has to choose to use his powers for good or evil. He can save the world or destroy it. When we were children, we were ruled by emotion. Everything that goes through the mind comes out of the mouth. Good or bad, positive or negative. As we grow older we learn to get a grip on the emotions and take inventory of what we say and how it affects other people. Good or bad.
My experience currently has been with a lack of attention on the mouth and more on physical action. Bullying. When we think of bullying, we think of a group of kids cornering this little dude in the playground and beating the fire out of him. A more severe form of bullying is taking place that is going unnoticed and unpunished. Name calling, degrading remarks, under the breath whispers of torture. This is the type of torture that prompts a student to lose control and finally take physical action against the other. The things that are said to a child go from the mouth of the enemy straight to her heart and linger there for years to discourage and promise failure from now on. Even though I have learned the art of disregarding most hurtful statements, a child has not. Sometimes I even take those things to heart myself even though I know better. I may not be able to teach my children not to get hurt by abusing words but I can teach them not to participate in negative language toward another and show them how hurtful and wrong it is. I will not allow the use of hateful statements toward each other in my house and is punishable right up there with lying and wrongdoing.
I realize there is a fine line between our freedom and what is punishable. The target of verbal bullying will be reprimanded by his emotionally uncontrolled retaliation. The torture whisperer will not. No one will ever be punished or go to jail for destroying a life by verbal abuse but as a parent, it is my responsibility to teach the discipline of the tongue and the power words can have on other people.

My Thoughts on Thoughts

Speaking of thoughts… I am noticing a weird trend going on in the brain and wondering, “Whats up with that?” Today I’m driving home and bleach pops into my mind. Yep a random seemingly thought about bleach. Am I out? Could I use it on that stain? As the thought process continues, I move on to whats the best cleaning stuff I own and what I would probably buy next, etc. All this completely dismissed and gone when I pull into my driveway. After settling in I decide to check my email. The first one I open is titled Clorox vs. Peroxide. What!? That’s just crazy. I was just thinking this! What’s even freakier is that I checked the time on the email and it is the same time those thoughts were going through my mind. Coincidence? Maybe. I started to recall the incident yesterday. My son was flipping channels and saw a movie titled “What a Girl Wants. I asked him if that was the one Mel Gibson was in and he looks at me with this “who?” look then I tell him “Oh, never mind, that’s What Women Want”. Later that evening I’m doing some channel surfing myself and see that same movie on the guide.
This happens to me constantly. I don’t think I’m psycic or crazy (though you may disagree with the latter)but I do believe there is more to our thoughts than just complete randomness of firing neurons. Have you ever had something pop in your head then think, “Where did THAT come from?” Or be humming a song and get in your car and that same song starts playing?
Your brain is a powerful tool and I think if we learn to actually pay attention to what we are thinking and actually accept or reject thoughts accordingly, we could change a lot about our lives and how we interact with those around us. Would love to hear your thoughts on thoughts……

Are you willing to die for the truth?

I recently watched an incredible video done by Mark Sansom on you tube that is a collection of interviews with Will Smith talking about his drive and work ethic, how powerful thoughts are and what makes him so successful.(Words and thoughts have physical power) As I watched this video, one line in particular struck a cord in my soul that I have been contemplating for days. Will Smith states “You have to be willing to die for the truth”. As this statement hijacks my thoughts, I am also confronted with life going on around me. Conflicts overseas, the state of the union address, all the tragedy going on in our world right now and especially the craziness of the state of mind of Americans. I feel like we are in this holding pattern waiting for the Langoliers to come.
Am I willing to die for the truth? If that means making a stand and defending what you believe in no matter the cost, yes, yes I am. And I assume most people are, but in order to be sure we need to go back in time and relive the lives of what our ancestors accomplished that made this country so great. I love history and am always amazed at the stories of how this country made and at the same time realize that our human nature hasn’t changed since day one, only our influences. We are still the same hard driven- all for one and one for all thinking people we have always been. I just can’t see it anymore. If you took this generation and told us the “British were coming”, would we win? Would we hide? Do we believe deep down inside that we (average everyday non-military Americans) would pick up our guns and run into the flames even if we knew for sure we would be burned? Would we do this for America? That’s exactly what our family did not so long ago.
Here’s the truth: We have to come together and be a country with appreciation of all who live and participate in it. We have to work together as a people to make this place great again and stop waiting for someone else to do it. We have to stop pointing fingers, offending and being offended. You’re my neighbor and I’ve got your back, no matter who you are. Are you willing to put your life on the line for this?
What's your truth?

January 1st....again

Every New year I do the same thing. I reflect on the past and anticipate the future. My reflecting brings me to this:

1) I want to try to be a better friend, daughter, wife and mom. Every year I do think we get smarter so statistically, this could happen.
2) I will spend less time using the words "I" and "me" and more time thinking about you.
3) Reflection is good but don't stay there long. The past is over and tomorrow looks so promising and adventurous.
4) Love- not just the people you like but all the people. It SO easy to love the people you like, the reward is in loving those you don't.

Thats about it; my short list of ponderings for today. Now onto tomorrow.........

Welcome 2011

Train - Calling All Angels

Just had to share the product of our snow day :)

What I Do With My Snowday

Recently my brain has been in list mode. I don’t know when it started or when and if it will end but I went from thinking in short story mode to making lists. Everything I read recently seems to be in lists. The top 10 places to live, the 5 worst places to visit, the 5 best things to do with unruly hair, 8 perfect fashions for winter and on and on. So, I thought I would publish my own list.
The 5 best things I do on a snow day:
1) Bake – Really, who has time to just bake anything anymore. I bought this huge tin yesterday to make a giant gingerbread man because my husband swears he’s never eaten one. Poor neglected man, I will bake him one today.
2) Clean out the bedroom closet – I have tons of cool skinny jeans, flare jeans, cargo pants and some really neat stuff I haven’t been able to wear in about 2 years. They hang in there and mock me. I’ll show them! Today they will find a new home at the thrift store.
3) Stay inside – I know, you’re thinking “build a snowman, make snow angels, or just run and play in the snow.” Um…I live in Tennessee. We don’t have an L.L. Bean here so there is no way I will tolerate the snow completely unprepared. I prefer to watch it through my window and think..”Aw, that’s pretty. I wonder when it will melt?”
4) Talk on the phone – This is a great thing because it is multitasking. Not only do you get to catch up with people you’re too busy to normally call but it’s the only time your kids will spend quality time with you. “Mom, look at this…quick!, Mom, can I…? Mom, when are you gonna be done? Mom, can I eat this?
5) Watch videos on YouTube I love music videos and funny skits on you tube. But who really gets to sit at the computer for more than 5 minutes without someone saying “how long are you going be on there?” “Do you not have anything better to do?” Today, it snow and No, I don’t really have anything else going on so let me update all my status’, watch some videos, write a blog or two and then when my stomach starts growling, I’ll eat some cereal.

Well, that’s the list of my day. It will expire at the end of the day much like the to-do list on my fridge. It’s been there so long I don’t even know what’s on it anymore. But there it hangs with a magnet underneath some excellent graded school work from October, Thursday’s shopping list and last months perfect attendance award.

Can you really be the HERO?

One of my favorite TV shows is “What would you do?”. I have always been fascinated with the human mind and how we react to our surroundings, so this series is obviously a hit for me. I sit and watch situations set up by a crew with hidden cameras in place and watch as they film how people react as they pass by. Things like someone stealing a bike, leaving a baby in car or a guy slipping his date a “mickey” have been on the list. I sit on my couch and say to myself “can you believe these people aren’t stepping in to help??” We all think that in any given situation, we would be the hero.
I agonize to think back to a time not too long ago that I was in a similar situation. When I was younger and not too experienced in life, I was living alone in an apartment and I could hear the people next door fighting. Usually those non-luxury apartments didn’t have sound proof walls. I had never met or seen these people before and only recently moved in myself. I began to get nervous because the screaming lasted a long time. I started pacing anxiously. Then I heard a lamp crash. Next came the crying and begging for mercy. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I began calling people I knew for advice. I got answers like “bang on the wall so they know you can hear them, maybe they’ll quit” and “don’t get involved because you don’t know who they are”. Well, the only decision I could make was based on what I was told and not what my gut said. All of me wanted to go over there and kick some butt or to call the police. Reminding myself that I am female, young and living alone, I was afraid of future retaliation from these people. I left it alone, turned my fan on and went to bed. The next morning I did the usual routine and left the house to go to work. As I was leaving, so were the neighbors. He was a scrawny guy with an attitude of control issues and she was meek and quiet with shame in her walk. It only took a minute to see the bruises behind her huge dark sunglasses and her glance that was only a split second told me that I could have prevented this. I continued quickly to my car, drove down the block to the gas station, parked my car and cried.
Ever since that day my heart has always echoed, It’s never wrong to do the right thing. I have been obedient to this message. I promised I would never ever take a back seat, walk away, or ignore any cry for help, injustice to the weak or worry about my own safety if someone else is being wronged. In today’s society it is more important than ever to show, even perfect strangers, that you’ve got their back and can give hope to believe that there are people out there that that will step up, regardless of the consequences. You don’t have to GO be a hero, just keep your eye on the perimeter.

That’s my story, what would you do?...............

One of my favorite all time movies is Facing the Giants. The movie is about finding hope in a place where everyone tells you that there is no hope. Digging deep down inside and bringing out the warrior who will be victorious despise all odds. When I watched this movie, I thought about David; facing his giant and defeating him with one stone when a whole army was shaken, scared and doubted that Goliath could be defeated. I also reflect on these visuals in my own life. Who wouldn't love to have a coach or a cheerleader in life to scream at you "Don't give up, Give me your best and don't quit until you have nothing left".

How many times in our lives have we heard people say, "You'll never make a living at that" or thought that there's so many people out there better at this than me so why bother. You'll never write that book, be a great artist, have a successful business or climb Mount Everest. That kind of thinking should challenge you to prove who you are no matter the odds.

On a side note, My husband will confess that some of the most important life lessons he learned was while playing high school football. No wonder there are so many movies that use football to send a message.

The Pseudo-Ladybug

I really only learned one thing in my college psychology class and that was the definition of “pseudo”. This very cool word means fake, phony or not real. I liked the sound of it so much that everything I felt was phony would be preceded by pseudo. Pseudo-ladybug is a term I created when I first encountered these little rascals about 10 years ago. It’s not in the dictionary or thesaurus and when I googled it, it said “Do you mean dis-ladybug”? Well, yes, kind of.


One October as I was standing in my in-laws yard having a conversation, this little ladybug flies over and casually lands on my arm. Aw, how sweet. How cute is this little tiny creature. As I watched it stroll down to my hand, my husband says “Those things bite, you know.” We all know ladybugs don’t bite, that’s just ridiculous. No sooner than that thought crossed my mind, it bit me. I smashed it. As I looked around there were tons more everywhere. All just flying around like a swarm of gnats. I looked closer and noticed that they weren’t red with black dots like they were supposed to be. They were brownish tan with black dots and almost exactly resembled a ladybug. I had to find out what the deal was so I started checking around and getting the scoop on these things. Turns out that from what I understand, these are Asian (Chinese) imported pseudo-ladybugs that were supposed to feed on the other bugs that were infesting the trees, eat aphids and just be good all around. I guess we (US Department of Agriculture) thought that if a couple are good for the garden, we (US Department of Agriculture) should go all out because more is better. Like THAT ever works. Well they (US Department of Agriculture) released these things in the woods and it just so happens that instead of hanging out on the trees,eating pests and aphids, they had a taste for houses. Every year in October we are inundated with thousands of tons of these pests and they crawl all over the houses and get in the cracks and crevices. They really enjoy landing on your clothes and getting stuck in your hair. They have assimilated closer to the red color over the years and that I find interesting.
My message here: Anything we (US Department of Agriculture)import from Asia (China) is probably not a good idea and I can just hear the snickering from across the ocean. I do have a similar stories about the fiasco with Asian hornets if you’re interested………

A Love Letter to my Child

The day you were born, I looked down upon you and saw a true miracle. The most beautiful creation of all creation. I knew you would be special, unique, and unlike anyone else on the entire planet and you were mine. With such innocence and sparkle in your eyes, I promised to love and care for you always and keep you safe from all that’s out there in the world. While you grew, I watched with pride as you would laugh and play. I took pleasure in the moments you took your first step or sang your first song. My heart ached with you through every boo boo and every fever. My love always comforted you, covered you and gave you all you needed to keep growing. As the years went by and you became engrossed in the world, in your friends and the craziness called life, you balked on me and I loved you. You began to not trust my guidance and I loved you. At times you would even turn your back on me and then I loved you more than you can possibly comprehend.
But you did not realize that no matter where you went or what you did, you carried my comfort in your heart. I am always your beacon of hope in a place where hope is hard to find. You can always call on me and I will be faithful to be there for you. There is nowhere you can go that I cannot get to you, rescue you, save you. I would do anything for your happiness even to sacrifice myself so you can live.
Always remember that in the places that you feel the most alone or unloved, know that my love for you is never going to leave you. I will be there. Watching. Waiting. Knowing that if you look around, you will find me.
You will be victorious. I have equipped you with everything you need to conquer all, have a happy life and be a good person. You will never forget me because I will live in your heart through the end of time and until forever. Enjoy your life, make someone else’s day brighter once in while and strive to do your best in all that you do. Until I see you again. -God