The Pseudo-Ladybug

I really only learned one thing in my college psychology class and that was the definition of “pseudo”. This very cool word means fake, phony or not real. I liked the sound of it so much that everything I felt was phony would be preceded by pseudo. Pseudo-ladybug is a term I created when I first encountered these little rascals about 10 years ago. It’s not in the dictionary or thesaurus and when I googled it, it said “Do you mean dis-ladybug”? Well, yes, kind of.


One October as I was standing in my in-laws yard having a conversation, this little ladybug flies over and casually lands on my arm. Aw, how sweet. How cute is this little tiny creature. As I watched it stroll down to my hand, my husband says “Those things bite, you know.” We all know ladybugs don’t bite, that’s just ridiculous. No sooner than that thought crossed my mind, it bit me. I smashed it. As I looked around there were tons more everywhere. All just flying around like a swarm of gnats. I looked closer and noticed that they weren’t red with black dots like they were supposed to be. They were brownish tan with black dots and almost exactly resembled a ladybug. I had to find out what the deal was so I started checking around and getting the scoop on these things. Turns out that from what I understand, these are Asian (Chinese) imported pseudo-ladybugs that were supposed to feed on the other bugs that were infesting the trees, eat aphids and just be good all around. I guess we (US Department of Agriculture) thought that if a couple are good for the garden, we (US Department of Agriculture) should go all out because more is better. Like THAT ever works. Well they (US Department of Agriculture) released these things in the woods and it just so happens that instead of hanging out on the trees,eating pests and aphids, they had a taste for houses. Every year in October we are inundated with thousands of tons of these pests and they crawl all over the houses and get in the cracks and crevices. They really enjoy landing on your clothes and getting stuck in your hair. They have assimilated closer to the red color over the years and that I find interesting.
My message here: Anything we (US Department of Agriculture)import from Asia (China) is probably not a good idea and I can just hear the snickering from across the ocean. I do have a similar stories about the fiasco with Asian hornets if you’re interested………

A Love Letter to my Child

The day you were born, I looked down upon you and saw a true miracle. The most beautiful creation of all creation. I knew you would be special, unique, and unlike anyone else on the entire planet and you were mine. With such innocence and sparkle in your eyes, I promised to love and care for you always and keep you safe from all that’s out there in the world. While you grew, I watched with pride as you would laugh and play. I took pleasure in the moments you took your first step or sang your first song. My heart ached with you through every boo boo and every fever. My love always comforted you, covered you and gave you all you needed to keep growing. As the years went by and you became engrossed in the world, in your friends and the craziness called life, you balked on me and I loved you. You began to not trust my guidance and I loved you. At times you would even turn your back on me and then I loved you more than you can possibly comprehend.
But you did not realize that no matter where you went or what you did, you carried my comfort in your heart. I am always your beacon of hope in a place where hope is hard to find. You can always call on me and I will be faithful to be there for you. There is nowhere you can go that I cannot get to you, rescue you, save you. I would do anything for your happiness even to sacrifice myself so you can live.
Always remember that in the places that you feel the most alone or unloved, know that my love for you is never going to leave you. I will be there. Watching. Waiting. Knowing that if you look around, you will find me.
You will be victorious. I have equipped you with everything you need to conquer all, have a happy life and be a good person. You will never forget me because I will live in your heart through the end of time and until forever. Enjoy your life, make someone else’s day brighter once in while and strive to do your best in all that you do. Until I see you again. -God

When I grow up.........

I always wanted to be a Forest Ranger. From my first trip out west when I was twelve, I was completely amazed by the National Parks, all the stuff the rangers knew and the cool jeeps they got to drive. I was so impressed by their presence; I knew this was the place for me. Well, so I thought. Fast forward through the pressure of making a good living and the trends of society that business was where the American dream was hiding. I had completely forgot about my ambitions until recently. During a summer trip to the state park, we had the opportunity to talk to the park rangers, learn about what they do and what was involved in their jobs. I had mentioned during the trip of the memory that I wanted to be a park ranger when I grew up. I was taken back when he said “Well, why weren’t you?”
Over the past couple months I thought about that question and the memories slowly started to appear. It wasa my first night in Grassy Cove. Coming from a place where cars, trucks and police sirens hummed me to sleep every night, the quiet of the country was a whole other ballgame. As I started to drift off that first night, it was around the time the coyotes started stirring. Before I knew it the howling and wolf like chit chat was surrounding me and I was sure that there were ten or twelve preparing to attack. I pictured the Cujo creatures breaking through my windows and scratching relentlessly on my door until it caved. I woke my husband and asked him if he had his shotgun ready(because I don’t even know how to look at one correctly) for the imminent attack. I am not sure but looking back he was probably grinning so wide that he really couldn’t answer me. Adventure #2 was just about as pathetic. I had never heard of a screech owl or even remember seeing one in a zoo. I was sitting on the back porch one night enjoying the quiet when out of nowhere I heard a child screaming. Maybe even a baby crying. I ran through the house and grabbed Bill and demanding that we hit the woods and look for this poor child. He’s probably lost or scared. I was in a panic. He casually walked out the door and stopped. I am in a rush….get going …this is important…. He turns to me and says “that’s a screech owl” and goes back inside. Well, I obviously stood there a few minutes and decided to trust his observation. I looked out into the dark and scary looking woods and thought “what else could possibly be lurking out there in those trees?”
OK, so I admit that hanging out in the woods, interacting with nature, and being fearless to confront wild animals or other critters was not my calling. Over time I did learn to enjoy the sounds of nature and all its inhabitants, but not enough to step off the back deck on a moonless night.