Making New Years Something Old

Being a kid was really awesome.  I think about this as I stand on the ledge of turning 50. I also think about the world of today and truthfully, I sometimes cringe.  I know now what it means when God calls us to come before him like child.

New Years Eve in our house was a big deal.  We stayed up until midnight and at the stroke of 12 we could kiss everyone, toast with champagne, and sing the old angsi song.  Seems trite today but it was a blast.  Our whole family and some good friends all having fun together.  No questions of whether its right or wrong to give kids champagne, or who was or wasn’t invited, or even question the point of it all.

Ignorance truly was bliss.  I loved riding my bike and never wore a helmet.  I would play with anyone I could find just in the name of sharing a fun day with someone else.  I didn’t know skin color or heritage was an issue; I loved all my friends just for the simple fact that they were willing to know me.  When one of your friends confided in you about something they did wrong, the response was always “oh, yeah? I can top that!” not OMG you heathen.

I think this year I will get back to the search for that Penny Candy and play the way we were meant to on this planet until it gets dark and dinner is ready and it’s time to go home.

TO BUY OR NOT....

So, I’m watching my favorite show the other night and I was rudely interrupted by commercials. There were tons of commercials that almost make it not worthwhile to even watch my show.  So as I am sitting waiting… I realize that I am subconsciously being brain washed.  The latest hair commercial for perfect hair, the weight loss I can achieve with no effort on my part, a pill that makes you run on the beach like I’m 20.  This made me start thinking.  When did we start believing everything in commercials yet challenge our doctors and second guess ourselves to do what’s best for us? 

I see so many beautiful young girls striving to be the picture of what’s on tv and yet as I sit and talk to them, I realize that it’s not the looks, it’s the attitude that makes a person so attractive.  With that in mind and as something we already should know, why do these commercials still work?  A short time ago I had my niece over.  She is just a wonderful, beautiful teenager.  She said something to me that made her one of the most attractive people I know; “I like who I am and I like the way I am and that’s all that matters.” Wow!  So young, yet so intelligent at the same time.  

Time for some research.  I checked the “Truth in Advertising laws”.  Then I thought about all the commercials I watched.  This didn’t jive.  You have model straight from the salon (agreed by many hairstylists I asked) showing you the hair you could have by using a specific shampoo. (Suave commercial). I started learning more. We have been fighting this battle since 1872 in making laws to protect consumers.  It mainly came down to if the product ended up causing harm and the ability for people to sue the company or not. Not necessarily if it actually works. The conclusion I came to was this:

1.     Do the research before wasting your money.  Actually find someone else who had the results you are looking for.  I have not found someone yet with salon perfect hair unless they just walked out of one.

2.       The FTC (Federal Trade Commission) does have your best interests at heart.  They currently have over 100 cases against companies for false advertising.  This proves to me there are loopholes in the system so don’t trust that the truth is always what commercials will give you. FTC has a website, use it.

3.      Realize you don’t really need all this junk to be happy.  9 out of 10 things advertised on TV, internet or radio we really don’t need.  God designed you exactly how He wants you to fulfill a purpose tailored just for you.  Yes, we always want to be at our best, eat right, look great and that’s good.  Just don’t go overboard trying to achieve something that is not portraying the real you which comes from deeper than your not so perfect skin tone.

My conclusion, get up in the morning, look in the mirror and say with all the confidence of a tight rope walker: “I like who I am and I like the way I am and that’s all that matters.”  Then get a dvr and fast forward through the lies.

The Secret Formula to a Successful Family

Over the past few years, I have slowly been gathering information about kids and families and their dynamics.  After awhile you begin to see patterns and this then becomes common sense.  Personal experience of my failures (I wish I had known) and successes (I’ve tried it myself) which  confirms my findings. I have worked with so many parents and found that these areas are places to start working on a happier family:

1.       Your spouse takes precedence over your children.  – Ok. Stop reading in disbelief; I speak the truth.  A strong marriage produces by default, a strong family.  All your children really want from you, not the latest XBOX or to be kept busy with sports 24/7, is to have the confidence to know that they are on solid ground. A firm foundation. If your marriage is the foundation of your family you better be sure it’s invincible.  In this environment, children thrive and have more confidence to go out on their own and be successful.  They in turn will mimic this and create firm relationships and lives themselves.Date night. Don’t laugh. Yes, date night is a must.  As busy as we all are we have to stop and take time for our spouses.  Even just a dinner and a movie will give you a chance to talk and relate to each other again.  After 13 years, we are still in the habit of our once a month date night.  Its amazing how much I have find out that has been going on with my husband that is usually small things we have no time otherwise to discuss.  Now onto a little family dynamics…..

2.       Be the mentor – I can’t stress enough the fact that children are watching what parents do more than they are listening to what they say.  You will be copied. Teenagers get blamed a lot for peer pressure influences.  Parents are proven to be the #1 influence above a child’s friends. No matter what age they are pioneering, they will continually be looking to you as a reference. Think about how babies learn. Its mostly all by imitation; everything from phonics to movement.  This does not stop as they age.  If you really start to contemplate this, you will see that it may not be just genetics that makes the apple fall close to the tree.

3.       Be accountable -   Responsibility is the most misaddressed area of the family dynamic today more than ever.  Children as young as 3 and 4 can start becoming responsible.  This is invaluable as they begin to grow into young adults.  A four year old can take off his shoes at the door and place them in a designated area.  This is teachable.  At a young age they so want to please you and be given praise that it’s a great place to start.  Being responsible breeds self-esteem.  We have so many young people out there feeling bad about themselves.  So insufficient and unworthy, I would call it the next epidemic.  Starting a regimen of responsibilities gives everyone a source of value and purpose thus ending in good self-esteem and in turn a happier family.

4.       You’re the parents – The team does not consist of children vs. mom vs. dad.  Parents need to plan how they are going to handle situations that come up in advance.  This is even more important with stepchildren and the roles step parents play.  Get your huddle on and have private meetings (maybe date night?) to talk about acceptable ways to approach problems and issues the kids will throw at you.  A teens favorite ammunition, and so easily played, is divide and conquer.  If you can pitch mom against dad, then the teen is no longer the issue. Bam, slam dunk and a win.

5.       Have fun – This should have been #2 if the list was in order.  The healthiest thing you can do for a family is have fun together.  Most of the time it’s free. This is not always easy and you may have to require attendance, but once it starts, everyone will have memories and references to last a lifetime.  In our house it’s been everything from chess tournaments and board games to walking in the woods to meteor hunting.  My heart is so happy when I see family pictures on facebook of days at the park or visiting with relatives.

6.       Pray together – I learned just the other day that 1 in 50,000 couples that pray together end in divorce. Those are awesome odds and truly worth saving a family for.   My family has been praying together for 13 years and its exactly what we need at the end of the day to remind us how grateful and thankful we are regardless of all that conspired during the day.

There concludes my top six.  This is my own personal observation and I find it to be pretty spot on.  

The Blue Ribbon of Child Abuse

April is child abuse awareness and prevention month.   This month here in my county, we will be having the Blue Ribbon Ceremony where we release the balloons of every child who has fallen victim to child abuse last year. This is an event we plan that ivolves all of the counties organizations. All will attend and we extend to our public how they can see and report suspected child abuse.  This cause is very near to my heart and I just wish that there would come a day when there would be no need for this event.  All children are a gift. A precious gift God has given us to care for and train up to be wonderful, loving adults. Please take some time to read the story about the Blue Ribbon and then go hug a child and swear you will protect them forever.

Bonnie Finney's story
It had been so long since I sat by my grandson's side in the hospital. Of course, I knew
something was wrong as I sat there, I saw fear on his face, the bruises on his body, and the
healing cigarette burns on his hands. His doctor did not believe my daughter's story… "he
fell in slippery water in the bathtub."

After the ordeal at the hospital my grandson was placed into foster care for three weeks. He
cried when they came to take him back to his mother. I ached for his dilemma, but I was not
physically able to care for him. I never saw him again.

"My 16-month old granddaughter was hospitalized after being beaten severely. Her leg was
broken in four places and her hand was burned from the tip of her little fingers to her wrist.
It was only then that the search was on for my grandson. We learned that he had been
killed, wrapped in a sheet, stuffed in a toolbox, and dumped into the dismal swamp three
months earlier.

My grandchildren had suffered and battled so much throughout their young lives that it
sickened me. My life was turned into physical and mental chaos. My efforts to understand
became a plea to stop abusing children. I tied a Blue Ribbon on my van antenna to make
people wonder. Why blue? I intend never to forget the battered, bruised bodies of my
grandchildren. Blue serves as a constant reminder to me to fight for protection for our
children.

The Green Thing

So I am carousing through the grocery store and I stumble upon that green coated fry pan that was recently an "As seen on TV" item.  I stared at it for a while and started thinking about the last 13 years of my life.  No, really.  Cast Iron pans for 13 years. UG!  The mess, the heaviness, and the scratches to my glass top stove.  Not one day spent in the presence of Teflon   Oh how I have missed anything non-stick!  I decided that since I was a grown woman subject to make rational decisions, I was going to indulge in purchasing this skillet. For experimental purposes of course.

I brought it home.  Its not Teflon, its environmentally friendly, ceramic coated.  I had to fry some sausage last night and decided to test out the new pan. All I can say is it worked liked a charm, fried my food, no fuss, no mess, light as a feather to lift and I wasn't exposed to any dangerous evil toxins!  It was extremely slick though so you have to watch it or your stuff will end up on the floor.  As long as the 5 second rule applies, you'll be ok. For the first time ever in the history of forever of buying something marketed on TV, I give it an A.

So its called the Orgreenic Ceramic Green non-stick Fry Pan. Go get you one.

Brushing Up on Some Slang

 I ran across this information cleaning out my computer. A dreaded job but I had a couple 500 minutes to kill.  I had put together a list of teen slang for some parents as a fun activity.  I chuckles every time I see it. One reason is because I remember all the slang/code words we used to use.  They are quite different these days.  I do warn parents not to let on that we know these words nor use them at any time.  Usually the minute they know we know, they'll change them like a super spy on a covert mission of mass secrecy!  Enjoy:

FLOP:
A flop is when a planned event doesn't end up happening. A flopper is someone who often cancels last minute.

PHOTOBOMB:
A photobomb is when a person or object is in a picture accidentally or intentionally and as a result, ruins the photo.

FAIL:
A fail is a fail in life. It can be anything from falling off your bike, walking into a glass door or overcooking your holiday dinner. Fails can also happen online if you write on someone's Facebook wall by accident, for example.

EPIC FAIL:
Now if a fail is a fail in life, then an epic fail is a fail of giant proportions. An epic fail can also refer to a task that is meant to be easy, but still wasn't carried out properly.

LIPDUB:
A lipdub may not be as common among all teens, but a lot of libdubs have been popping up on the Internet. For example in this one,students at the University of British Columbia sing their way through campus with Pink's "Raise Your Glass." Essentially, a lipdub is a music video done in one take with a variety of people singing along.

NOOB:
A noob refers to someone who doesn't have the basic knowledge when it comes to pop culture, tech terms or just generally what seems to be "in" that week. (And don't worry, after you read our guide, you will no longer be a noob when it comes to popular words among teens).

PWNED:
No, this is not a typo, pwned is spelled with a "p" and is pronounced 'owned.' History suggests it originated in an online game called "Warcraft," where a map designer misspelled "owned." (Just look how close "p" and "o" are on your keyboard). When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, "has been owned." Being owned means someone just proved you wrong, but it could also be positive. If you did well on a test, guess what? You pwned that test.

POS:
Now kids aren't going around saying "POS" out loud -- nor would they say LOL (laugh out loud), WTF (what the f--k), BRB (be right back) or SMH (shaking my head) --but this one is just for texting and chatting. If you ever happen to look over your son or daughter's shoulder while they are on instant message sites or Facebook and you see "POS," it refers to: parents over shoulder.

SICK:
Sick doesn't refer to being ill or literally sick. It usually refers to something that was awesome, cool or surprising.

HATER:
A hater is usually someone who feels anger or jealously towards another person because of their success. However, when most teens use it, they just assume they other person is ruining their life on purpose. 

·                    Greycation - Having your grandparents join your vacation.

Bro-tox - Men getting botox

Iceman - A friend with nerves of steel

Tarhead - Someone who is involved in oil-based recreation such as car racing.

Affluential - Having both money and power or influence

Flamed - To have taken everything too seriously

Awesomity - The highest state of awesome

Ollie - A skateboard trick where the rider and board leap into the air

Planking - Laying your body on top of an object and balancing there while stretched out and stiffened.

Tight - Means close in relationship.

Tool - Refers to someone who is stupid or a geek.

Wanksta - Refers to a person trying to act tough, but isn't really pulling it off.

Chillaxin - cross between chillin' and relaxing.

Crashy - Crazy and trashy. Not considered to be good.

Crunk - cross between crazy and drunk. Some teens use this term to mean cool.

Requestion - cross between a request and a question.

Tope - cross between tight and dope.