My Own Worst Enemy

I kill me. I really do. I am my worst nightmare. I Caught myself today. I opened the Yahoo homepage to see one of those "news" (haha) stories about some hollywood couple doing whatever. I thought to myself, "Really people? Is this what is occupying our time? Is this really news?" So then guess what I did. Yep. I clicked on the link to see what the story was about. Snap.

A Farm Thing

Today is the day I finally realized how truly blessed I am. Sometimes those things you think you have to endure really end up being an wonderful slice of luxury. You think all this time I have suffered when in truth I have been given a great gift. For 13 years I have not bought meat from the grocery store. Every year we “do in” a cow that feeds us for that year. The first year I was mortified. It wasn’t nice and pink like the store and it was vacuum packed and looked extremely odd. Not to mention watching these guys graze all year and then they are in my freezer. As with any cards we’re dealt, I began to adjust pretty well to a point that it just become normal and I didn’t even think about it anymore…..until today….
The weather was pretty nasty out. With the freezing cold and the snow flying I really didn’t feel like walking out to the freezer and defrosting meat. In my genius thought, I had to go to the store anyway, I might as well save some time and pick up some hamburger for meatballs there. I took the hamburger out of the package and noticed right away the strange color, almost pink. I smelled it. It actually didn’t smell like anything, no smell at all. Oh well, continue…I place it in the bowl and it’s a little slimy. Eww. I start cooking and there is grease everywhere. Now that’s gross.
It was then that I realized how much better the grass fed, home grown cow really was. Beef smells like beef. No grease to fool with and the taste is so good, you hardly have to spice it. Yep, I have been spoiled in my pioneer way of life and life is good.

Occupy Walmart

I have absolutely no idea why this Occupy Wall Street nonsense gets on my nerves. It really does but I think its a test. A test of my "no useless controversy" policy. I try really hard to not knock any idea someone has to do something great and useful with their life no matter how far fetched I think it is. Well, OWS, a test of my emotional endurance. I have a zipper on my lip.

So in order not to explode being quiet, I have to just voice my opinion on a great marketing campaign. Occupy Walmart. This should be the black Friday slogan of all time. "Thousands turn out to Occupy Walmart". The only problem is they would never use it in the era that is 2011 because it might offend someone...oh...did I just say that out loud? Stupid zipper.

Lessons School Can't Teach

I couldn’t be more proud of my 11 year old son than I was this morning. No, report cards didn’t come out , I didn’t receive any papers with 100’s on them, nor did any trophy of special importance come home in his backpack. It was his courage.
A few days ago we randomly talked about forgiveness. Not only forgiving people but making it right after you forgive. I think its so important that if you are going to forgive people, you need to try to make things right between you. We also talked about when you do things that wrong or hurt others we need to apologize as soon as we realize what we’ve done and go and make it right.
This morning after I picked up some other riders and drove toward the school, my son, out of nowhere, says to another boy in the car, “A while ago I was mean to you. It wasn’t like me and I don’t know why I was, I just was. I am really sorry if I was. Do you forgive me?”
I can’t image how much courage it took him to say that because he is not very good with words or saying how he feels to anyone. I am just so thankful that he understands the things I try to teach him and know that he will be ok in this big crazy world. That, as a parent, is worth more to me than any report card or trophy.

In my search for all things old, cool and interesting, I ran across a school book at my in-laws house. The book published in 1914, The Volume Library, was used at the Grassy Cove Academy. The book was written with over 90 consultants as well as the President of the New York City College of Teachers in an agreement as to the direction to take our children. As I flip through the yellowed sensitive pages, I read exerts of the introduction teaching parents how to prepare a child for school and their responsibilities as a parent. The Kindergarten outline. The school book offers different types of obedience for parents to ensure successful learning at school.
Page 3 Paragraph5:
“About the worst method to secure obedience is unfortunately most commonly employed; to frighten the child by threats and punishments. The motive of fear is the most treacherous of all motives. It breeds cowardice, deception and hypocrisy. It destroys character and personality. It prevents development of confidence between child and parent, and will never teach a child the real reasons for right conduct.”
Wow. What a statement.

In all caps reads(speaking of the I Say, You Jump to please me approach to obedience): “THE PINCIPLE AIM OF EDUCATION MUST FOREVER BE TO GIVE THE CHILD THE POWER OF SELF CONTROL OF SELF MANAGEMENT AND THE SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY OF INDEPENDENT THOUGHT. This is the reason why obedience of the mechanical kind, as valuable as it is, has to be employed with great caution.”

I’m not sure exactly where I’m going with this except for the fact that I think maybe we ought to take a time out, find the successes of the past and implement them today for a better adjusted, well educated, happier experience studying for a good future.

Conversations

If you could have a face to face conversation with God, what would it sound like? For me, I think it would be just like this one:

About a Story

Its been a long time since I have posted my thoughts here. The summer was fun and amazing. I found myself every day writing a story in my mind about the day’s events. After awhile I determined that every sunrise to sunset I create a story with a beginning, a middle and an end. It has a climax and a purpose. Everyday I write. I live out my story until its time to create it in words. Like every good story it must be edited. I lie down to sleep and think of the day’s paragraphs and begin the process. ..”once upon a time in a land closer than you could possible imagine, there was this girl…………” Was what I said the right thing? Did I handle the situations in the best way I could? What was the best part? The worst part? And my favorite…what made me laugh so hard I cried!? My stories are usually about 5 brain pages before I would drift off to sleep and wait on the rooster crow to start a new one.

Just about Jesse

On June 4th, 2011 a dirt track race was held in Crossville, TN to spread Breast Cancer Awareness. The amazing thing about this race is that it was created and organized by 19 year old Jesse Lowe. Jesse has been racing since he was 14 and this year he had the idea to race for breast cancer. On his own he proceeded to create a car to get attention for breast cancer as well as put known breast cancer victims and survivors names on his car. He has a passion for doing great things for the good of the many. A lot of what he has done has come out of his own pocket and he believes he can make a difference in this world. I believe he can too. The race wasn’t widely marketing due to his limited funds but he still managed to offer a $1000 prize for the winner and raise $1300 for breast cancer research. Wow. This is a big deal and a big task for a recent high school graduate.
There are so many things our teens are doing these days to try to make a difference in the world and it goes unrecognized by the many. They get a bad rap when all we see on TV are school shootings and videos on You tube on fights and conflicts. I say this teen awareness is going in the wrong direction. Do you want to influence a teenager and celebrate the amazing things they are doing? Let’s let the world see firsthand what’s really going on. These kids are our future and by publically showing the things that they are doing, there is no telling where the domino effect of change and inspiration will come in.

I have a passion for these kids and am very proud of their accomplishments. I know many others in the area have been prompted by the acts of one to get involved.

Let's talk about Dad

In honor of Father’s day, I have something to say about your dad. Father’s Day is a tough one since my dad has been living it up with the angels for over two years. I remember the last father’s day card I bought. I was standing in front of the card selection and pulled out this card and read it. I laughed so hard out loud; other people turned and looked at me. I wasn’t embarrassed but proceeded to share this card with anyone standing there. I brought the card home but I never sent it. I can’t remember if dad was on vacation or out of town and I decided to wait. Then a month went by so decided to save it for next year. I still have the card. I thought maybe I would give it to my father-in-law but its just not the same. I can’t seem to part with it. It is a symbol of one of many missed opportunities. My dad wasn’t famous, wouldn’t get father of the year, and was no Ward Cleaver or Cliff Huxtable but he was the best dad I ever had, the one God gave me and the one I would pick again if I had an instant rewind.
Sometimes you might think you have issues with your dad but you know what, so does everybody else and in the long run when the day is over, he’s the one God gave you. He is the one that will love you unconditionally no matter what you do or what you may believe. No matter the type of person you think he is, the day will come when you realize that he was the best possible dad he knew how to be with the tools that he had. If I had a megaphone to heaven, I would tell my dad that the only thing that mattered was that I knew he loved me and that love will sustain me for the rest of my days.
If your blessed enough to still have him here, maybe you should tell him that on Father’s Day so you won’t feel like you'll need that megaphone later.

The Bigger Picture

A little boy and his family lived in a cottage on the beach. One day the father came home and brought the boy a salt water fish tank. He also was able to get fish eggs so they could hatch in the tank. Days went by and the boy watched the tank intently everyday for his fish to hatch. He sat there and watched and waited, he would imagine what they would look like and how he would feed them and watch them swim. The day finally came when the fish started hatching. The boy was so excited that he stayed at the tank as much as he could so he could watch each and every one.
The boys father sat with the boy one day and gently said to him, “There are way too many fish for this tank”. Teary eyed the boy was not about to spare any of them. He had spent so much time talking to them, watching them swim and play. After the father insisted that the tank was getting way too small and it eventually would compromise all the fish, the father told the boy of his plan and the boy agreed.
The fish were used to seeing the boy everyday and would swim to the glass to see him when he came in the room. This day was different. The little boy came to the tank today with a net. He scooped up a fish and carried it away. The fish in the tank were devastated and crushed by the loss of their friend.
The boy left the room. He carried the fish in the net, walked to the pier and dropped the fish into the ocean. The fish in all its glory, happily swam away. Everyday was the same. The boy came in the room with the net and took one fish. Each time the boy came in, the fish would swim frantically hoping that today was not there day. They were very afraid. But everyday continued and the boy’s routine was the same. Get a fish, walk to the pier, drop the fish in the ocean, smile and return home.
The fish in the tank became so distraught; one finally said to the boy, “why are you doing this? I thought you loved us? This is horrible. What have we done to make you so mad?” The boy said I am doing this because I love you. The fish did not understand and the boy tried to explain but knowing that the fish are unaware of anything but the tank, he had to put it in a way that they might comprehend. My father told me of a place that you will swim free for ever, be happy and never have to worry about when you will be fed next. The only way to get there is through me. If you trust me and know that I love you, I will walk with you there and you will be happy.

How does a domestic goddess stay off the couch?

I just read an article that people who sit most of the day increase their risk of heart attack by 54%. The article is mainly geared toward people who work in offices and it doesn’t count if you exercise when you leave work after sitting all day. I don’t have an office job or work out or anything but I do have a home routine of my own to help me stay moving. The tips in the article I read are good yet obvious ones for business people but if you stay at home like I do, you have to be more creative in making yourself not sit for long periods. I’ll share with you what I do to stay up and going despite the temptations.

1 Buy furniture for looks. They are usually the most uncomfortable and you won’t want to be there all day.

2. Leave yourself tons of “little stuff” on your to do list. Like a dish or two or all of them in the sink after dinner so you can get up in a little while when you feel like it and wash it.

3. Don’t be a neat freak. If your house is always clean and you have everything in order, you may be forced to sit around all day Saturday with nothing to do.

4. Leave your cell phone on the other side of the house. Its best if you leave it in a different place each time. When it rings you have to jump up, run across the house and actually find it to answer it. You will probably miss some calls but you’ll increase your movement when they keep calling back.

5. Make sure you have some laundry piled up. You want to be able to do 3 or 4 loads in a given day. If you time it right, you would get up about every 2 or 3 commercial breaks from your soaps to change over or fold laundry. This is excellent movement.

6. Be forgetful. This is one of my favorite “moving” workouts. There is nothing better than forgetting what you went to the kitchen for. You have to go back to where you were and start over. If you are lucky enough to be extremely forgetful, you could repeat this process many times. It helps also to lose your keys or your wallet randomly to get in a quick workout in before sitting in the car.

There are so many other creative ways to keep yourself moving when you’re at home, the kids are in school , and you’re faced with that risky dilemma of me time.

The secret job you don't know you have.

The world of kids needs a few good mentors. Oh, wait, you are a mentor and you probably don’t even know it. Some of the best mentors in the world are the family members who are not a parent or sibling, but the person that doesn’t mind hanging out with you and sharing some good fun together. You have no idea what a great impact this has on a child or teenager. An Aunt or Uncle can bring new perspectives, ideas and interests that really add to the quality of childhood. Like getting an A in math AND all the extra credit answers right.

When I was young (er), I had a favorite aunt. And I say “had” only because of the child perspective. She’s still my favorite. I thought she was the coolest person ever. She was very outgoing and I remember all the hiking and exploring we would do. She loved to travel and I anticipated hearing about her adventures overseas and working with children. I knew for sure that one day when I grew up, I would be just like her. It gave me a new way at looking at life than what was only in front of me. Well, I didn’t grow up just like her, she’s still traveling or on a hiking trail somewhere and I’m sitting in front of a computer screen but I know she’ll always be there and still one of my favorite “grown ups”.
When I grew older and had a child of my own, I was a devout Tomboy. I was anti-dresses, no heals, could care less about my nails and pretty sure I could do whatever my brothers could. I was thankful that my daughter had aunts in the family to show her the frilly pink stuff, the hair bows and play dress up. Her being able to spend that quality time with them created bonds that will last a lifetime.

In working with so many kids lately, I noticed a trend in the lack of someone to talk to. They just might not know that they do have people in their lives that love them like parents and care about everything they do. You could be that person and you need to look around and let them know that you’re there for them. Non judgmental, just to talk to or hang out with or a person they can vent to if they ever need someone. My nieces and nephews know that I have a revolving door that is constantly open. Spending time with them is so much fun and I always look forward to seeing them.

Hikng, Hope and a Mission of Love

Last Saturday kicked off the Hike for Hope at the Cumberland Mountain State Park. Even though the weather was a little under the weather, we had a great time and a lot of people came out to hike, eat, chat, listen to live music and get a glimpse of what is involved in hiking over 2100 miles.


John Wigington gave us some insight as to how life was on the trail for days at a time. The amount of gear to carry was amazing since this included sleeping, cooking, emergency items and even extra shoes. This is not an undertaking for the weak willed or casual walker!

Thank you to all who came out and braved the cold. The two mile hike at the park was actually very refreshing and even amidst the mist, was very enjoyable.


I was touched as well by a story that had developed out of someone hearing about John’s quest to walk for the House of Hope. After John had been on the radio talking about this AT adventure, I received a phone call from Alex Horony. Alex was also a retired service man and told me the story of his brother John who had passed away in 2007 of cancer. John was an avid hiker, outdoorsman, and carpenter. John had hiked in Europe and also had a drive to complete the Appalachian Trail even after his diagnosis of cancer. John (Horony) carried with him a hiking stick that would mark the miles of the trail as he hiked it. Most hikers are “section hikers” and complete the entire AT by doing it in sections throughout the years. John had completed most of the trail until he was too weak from cancer treatments to go any further. Alex called the House of Hope and asked if John Wigington would be willing carry John Horony’s walking stick the rest of the way to complete the AT in his honor. I really teared up watching John W. accept this walking stick to finish a dream for someone that couldn’t.

Alex Horony handing over the hiking stick to John Wigington




John Horony 1953 to 2007

WORDS HAVE POWER

How often we forget the power of the word. Words on paper are strong but the power lies in the tongue. What we speak becomes either a weapon of destruction or a tool of healing. I realize that in this country we have the freedom to express ourselves with writing and speaking and it is a right that I cherish. At the same time it is also a right that can be abused or used unthoughtfully to hurt or destroy.
We can easily remember things our forefathers said in speeches more than which bills they signed into law. We study the words of our mentors to give us guidance and memorize famous lines in movies that we use everyday. The power of the tongue.
We have got to be more responsible with how we use this power that we have. Like a superhero, he has to choose to use his powers for good or evil. He can save the world or destroy it. When we were children, we were ruled by emotion. Everything that goes through the mind comes out of the mouth. Good or bad, positive or negative. As we grow older we learn to get a grip on the emotions and take inventory of what we say and how it affects other people. Good or bad.
My experience currently has been with a lack of attention on the mouth and more on physical action. Bullying. When we think of bullying, we think of a group of kids cornering this little dude in the playground and beating the fire out of him. A more severe form of bullying is taking place that is going unnoticed and unpunished. Name calling, degrading remarks, under the breath whispers of torture. This is the type of torture that prompts a student to lose control and finally take physical action against the other. The things that are said to a child go from the mouth of the enemy straight to her heart and linger there for years to discourage and promise failure from now on. Even though I have learned the art of disregarding most hurtful statements, a child has not. Sometimes I even take those things to heart myself even though I know better. I may not be able to teach my children not to get hurt by abusing words but I can teach them not to participate in negative language toward another and show them how hurtful and wrong it is. I will not allow the use of hateful statements toward each other in my house and is punishable right up there with lying and wrongdoing.
I realize there is a fine line between our freedom and what is punishable. The target of verbal bullying will be reprimanded by his emotionally uncontrolled retaliation. The torture whisperer will not. No one will ever be punished or go to jail for destroying a life by verbal abuse but as a parent, it is my responsibility to teach the discipline of the tongue and the power words can have on other people.

My Thoughts on Thoughts

Speaking of thoughts… I am noticing a weird trend going on in the brain and wondering, “Whats up with that?” Today I’m driving home and bleach pops into my mind. Yep a random seemingly thought about bleach. Am I out? Could I use it on that stain? As the thought process continues, I move on to whats the best cleaning stuff I own and what I would probably buy next, etc. All this completely dismissed and gone when I pull into my driveway. After settling in I decide to check my email. The first one I open is titled Clorox vs. Peroxide. What!? That’s just crazy. I was just thinking this! What’s even freakier is that I checked the time on the email and it is the same time those thoughts were going through my mind. Coincidence? Maybe. I started to recall the incident yesterday. My son was flipping channels and saw a movie titled “What a Girl Wants. I asked him if that was the one Mel Gibson was in and he looks at me with this “who?” look then I tell him “Oh, never mind, that’s What Women Want”. Later that evening I’m doing some channel surfing myself and see that same movie on the guide.
This happens to me constantly. I don’t think I’m psycic or crazy (though you may disagree with the latter)but I do believe there is more to our thoughts than just complete randomness of firing neurons. Have you ever had something pop in your head then think, “Where did THAT come from?” Or be humming a song and get in your car and that same song starts playing?
Your brain is a powerful tool and I think if we learn to actually pay attention to what we are thinking and actually accept or reject thoughts accordingly, we could change a lot about our lives and how we interact with those around us. Would love to hear your thoughts on thoughts……

Are you willing to die for the truth?

I recently watched an incredible video done by Mark Sansom on you tube that is a collection of interviews with Will Smith talking about his drive and work ethic, how powerful thoughts are and what makes him so successful.(Words and thoughts have physical power) As I watched this video, one line in particular struck a cord in my soul that I have been contemplating for days. Will Smith states “You have to be willing to die for the truth”. As this statement hijacks my thoughts, I am also confronted with life going on around me. Conflicts overseas, the state of the union address, all the tragedy going on in our world right now and especially the craziness of the state of mind of Americans. I feel like we are in this holding pattern waiting for the Langoliers to come.
Am I willing to die for the truth? If that means making a stand and defending what you believe in no matter the cost, yes, yes I am. And I assume most people are, but in order to be sure we need to go back in time and relive the lives of what our ancestors accomplished that made this country so great. I love history and am always amazed at the stories of how this country made and at the same time realize that our human nature hasn’t changed since day one, only our influences. We are still the same hard driven- all for one and one for all thinking people we have always been. I just can’t see it anymore. If you took this generation and told us the “British were coming”, would we win? Would we hide? Do we believe deep down inside that we (average everyday non-military Americans) would pick up our guns and run into the flames even if we knew for sure we would be burned? Would we do this for America? That’s exactly what our family did not so long ago.
Here’s the truth: We have to come together and be a country with appreciation of all who live and participate in it. We have to work together as a people to make this place great again and stop waiting for someone else to do it. We have to stop pointing fingers, offending and being offended. You’re my neighbor and I’ve got your back, no matter who you are. Are you willing to put your life on the line for this?
What's your truth?

January 1st....again

Every New year I do the same thing. I reflect on the past and anticipate the future. My reflecting brings me to this:

1) I want to try to be a better friend, daughter, wife and mom. Every year I do think we get smarter so statistically, this could happen.
2) I will spend less time using the words "I" and "me" and more time thinking about you.
3) Reflection is good but don't stay there long. The past is over and tomorrow looks so promising and adventurous.
4) Love- not just the people you like but all the people. It SO easy to love the people you like, the reward is in loving those you don't.

Thats about it; my short list of ponderings for today. Now onto tomorrow.........

Welcome 2011

Train - Calling All Angels